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About Digital Art / Student Premium Member Tobias CornwallMale/United Kingdom Recent Activity
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MY HUMAN PERSONALITY
Enneatype 4w5 Stamp by Pseudolonewolf Enneatype 5w4 Stamp by Pseudolonewolf Enneatype 9w1 Stamp by Pseudolonewolf
Introvert Stamp by tk-for-short Stamp: Myers-Briggs INFJ by Meriko-chan Disconnected Stamp by SparklyDest
DA Stamp - Care About Both 01 by tppgraphics I never curse. :D - STAMP by Natsu714 Computer Stamp by ShadowDragon22
Lonely-Stamp by Dinoclaws Shy Stamp by Neko-Musume Social Anxiety Disorder by KaleidoKittles
Fantasy is my Reality stamp by purgatori Feels alot younger: Stamp by JazzaX UK Flag by mysage
Perfectionist Stamp by ERHBuggy Fantasy World Stamp by Pockaru DA Stamp - So Many Ideas... by phantompanther
Stamp: Listener by delusional-dreams Stamp: Kindness by delusional-dreams Stamp: Gentleness by delusional-dreams


MY PRECIOUS BELIEVINGS
Stamp: MBTI supporter by Jammerlee Correct Grammar by Red-Bananas by GrammarNazisUnited DA Stamp - Think 03 by tppgraphics
NO SMOKE STAMP by schtolz Don't Drink stamp by RichiHart
War stamp by Amersill Anti-Gun Stamp by RJDaae Pacifist Stamp by Krooked-Glasses
STAMP: Nice Artists ROCK by Mottenfest Anti Trolls Stamp by sonic2344 Anti Bullying Stamp by Morgan-the-Rabbit
Atheist Fish by Aneyolf I Want to Believe by manticor I Heart Paranormal Stamp by ladykatrianna
Not a sports fan stamp by FurryLucarioReturns Nice People by Naomi-Shikaru Stamp: Peace by delusional-dreams
One or Two Friends is Enough by mylastel Not the Only One by fear-the-brilliance


THINGS I DON'T HATE
I Eat Chocolate Stamp by TheChocolateClub DA Stamp - Nature 01 by tppgraphics Kindness Stamp by genkistamps
Stamp - I Heart Dragons by ValkAngie wolf stamp by war-armor I love Stoats by WishmasterAlchemist
Classical music stamp by Tollerka Video Game Music Stamp by GamzGuy Composer STAMP by grace-note
DA Stamp - Video Games 01 by tppgraphics I love RPGs - RPG Kiste Style by VonHohenburg Retro Video Game stamp by Clockwerk-chan
Pokemon Stamp by MarkiSan Final Fantasy Stamp by Death-Summoner Zelda Royal Crest Stamp PLZ by Master-Ziggy
EarthBound Stamp by Teeter-Echidna Xenoblade Stamp by shizuuyay Chrono Trigger Stamp by Lightning5trike
Doctor Who Stamp by Kezzi-Rose QI stamp by 5-3-10-4 Star Trek fan by Sedma
Piano Stamp by raimundo-fangirl ::Sci-Fi Stamp:: by BlackCapuchin


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.: Read the comments :. Stamp by Beti-Kot 'Notes make me feel special' stamp by Synfull :thumb98874067:
Photoshop Stamp by mushir digital-artists stamp by CookiemagiK Wacom User :stamp: by Amblygon
Thank You For The... Stamp by Mirz123 Gentle Criticism Stamp by Mirz123 thank you for the fav stamp by fear-the-brilliance
Interact Stamp + Plz by UnicornReality Thanks button Stamp by justdacat Long Artist's Comments Stamp by aque-mizuhara


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Visitors

:iconhighwind123:
highwind123
Jul 28, 2014
3:10 pm
:iconmichos9:
Michos9
Jul 28, 2014
2:42 pm
:iconaleta1:
aleta1
Jul 28, 2014
1:33 pm
:iconjulietsbart:
JulietsBArt
Jul 28, 2014
1:21 pm
:iconxelada:
xelada
Jul 28, 2014
1:02 pm

Which of the Seven Deadly Sins do you struggle with the most? 

65%
53 deviants said Sloth
9%
7 deviants said Envy
7%
6 deviants said Pride
6%
5 deviants said Gluttony
6%
5 deviants said Lust
5%
4 deviants said Wrath
1%
1 deviant said Avarice

Sorry about the delay!!

Journal Entry: Thu Jul 24, 2014, 5:26 PM


I started that DESCRIPTION DRAWING CHALLENGE ages ago, and said that the deadline was... a while back, and some people have finished their entries... but I've yet to finish the whole thing by writing a journal showing off everyone's interpretations, and I feel rather bad about taking so long about it!

It's because I've yet to draw my own entry, because I've been really lacking in motivation and enthusiasm about art recently, and as a result have been barely drawing at all. I think I went for like two or three weeks without drawing anything? I also stopped looking at art on deviantART, and I've completely fallen behind with commenting on things (not that I was ever any good with that in the first place!).

The reasons for this are basically because I don't know what to do with my life at the moment. I'm in a position where I'm not sure at all what my future holds, and my present isn't exactly stable or happy. It'd be nice if I had a comfortable routine, a predictable path I knew I was following, a set of things I had to do each day to make my life feel ordered, but I don't; I'm 26 and I'm still not sure 'what I want to be when I grow up'.

Or rather, I feel I should stick with the whole game-making thing, but there are so many humongous hurdles and they're really getting me down. It'd be brilliant if I could meet someone to work with, a partner whose personality clicked with my own and whose skills were developed and relevant, because that'd make it a million times easier and more fun, but I've failed to find anyone for the same reasons that have left me with zero friends. Anxieties, basically! And strong feelings of being prohibitively Different from other people. I really envy those developers who work in pairs or small teams with their friends...

It's a vicious cycle... Loneliness leads to depression, which leads to a lack of energy, which leads to avoiding things like meeting new people, which leads to more loneliness, which leads to further depression, and so on. It's a really hard thing to break out of. It would be possible for me to talk to people online, just so then I could be talking to *someone*, but I keep putting it off because I've gone so long talking to nobody and got so very used to that, and before I know it, the day has flown by and it's time to go and sleep for far too long again. At least my dreams tend to be vivid and not unpleasant!!1

I spent the last year at university, which I went to hoping to make friends; I've already talked about this here before. I did a Games Art course and got great marks, but I feel I completely failed socially; being isolated for several years made me feel like I just didn't know how to socialise. I was in a class full of geeky people, but they all seemed so much more extroverted and socially savvy than I've ever been, and I couldn't relate at all to all the talk of drinking and parties because I don't like - and have never done - either. Even the kinds of games that everyone liked were very different to what I've devoted my life to.

I don't know whether to go back to university for the second year... and this is mainly what's been bothering and distracting me recently. The main problem is that I don't have anywhere to live.

For the first year, I stayed in the campus's 'student village' place thing (the equivalent of dorms, I suppose), and shared a house with several strangers (though unlike in the American system, I had no roommate(s); I had my own room). I asked for a quiet house, hoping to be put together with shy introverted types who I could be best buddies with ("you get annoyed by loud people? Me too!"), but instead I was put with international students, and we all just kept to ourselves. I spent the whole time in my room, feeling lonely, waiting for the shared kitchen to be free so then I could use it without encountering anyone and having awkward small talk or even more awkward silence. Thankfully it was quiet, though; nobody had parties or made a mess of the place or anything like that.

However, for the second year, I'd need to find a place off-campus to rent... which would involve living with strangers, and I don't exactly have the option of requesting somewhere quiet. Most people live with friends, but I don't have any, so that option also wasn't available to me. And the idea of being a bizarre weirdo cohabiting with loud, binge-drinking, party-having, "normal" students is basically my idea of Hell. I couldn't survive in that environment; it'd drive me mad. I wish it were possible to find other people who are quiet and gentle, who don't listen to loud music or have loud parties or drink that maddeningly popular mind poison... but such people seem to be few and far between. So if I were to blindly rent a room in a shared house, it'd be a big gamble, and the chances of me not getting along with most or all of my housemates is basically 100%. I'm really not a 'laid back, easy-going' kind of person at all... but I bet everyone else would get along wonderfully and easily, and it'd end up feeling like a 'me and Them' sort of thing. I'd never confront anyone; I'd just avoid them, and my mood and mind would crumble apart.

I wonder how odd this all sounds to people who have never suffered from social anxiety. Hmm. I imagine I sound arrogant, like I feel like I'm better than such people, but that's not it; it's a matter of *incompatibility*... I'd feel like a celibate monk in a brothel or something.

Anyway. I'm rambling! I mainly just wanted to explain the delay about the challenge results thing (I've tried to get into drawing again over the past couple of days, but I'm really rusty so it still might take a bit of time for me to finish my entry and post everyone else's; sorry!). Still, all this Real Life stuff - loneliness, uncertainty, dread - is consuming my mind right now... Hopefully I'll be able to make a decision I won't regret before long.

CHALLENGE REMINDER, etc!

Journal Entry: Sat Jul 12, 2014, 5:51 PM


I set the deadline of the DESCRIPTION DRAWING CHALLENGE to Sunday the 13th (which it technically is now for me), and I know that some people have actually finished their entries... but I haven't done mine yet! I wanted to do it today, but instead was annoyingly ill instead. Pfft! I'll try and get it done tomorrow; I've been avoiding looking at the other entries because I don't want to be influenced by them, and I feel bad about 'ignoring' them like that!

If you're interested in this but need more time, please comment, otherwise I'll *hopefully* write a journal featuring all the entries tomorrow... or whenever I've finished mine, which I'll get to as soon as possible.

I've barely been drawing or using deviantART for the last several days, and I feel bad about that too because I've not been commenting or replying or anything! It's because I'm in a rather uncomfortable place in my life at the moment, where I really don't know where to go from here and don't exactly have anyone to talk to (or rather, I'm so out of practice when it comes to talking to people that I struggle to work *human interaction* into my days), so I just spend much of my time procrastinating lonelily and thinking about what could be, what should be, or what isn't. I've been trying to work hard on a newer version of my Miasmon game, and it's coming along well... but I don't know what I'll do with it if I finish it, which is worrying.

Anyway. I don't want to go too much into that here; I just wanted to offer a brief explanation for my recent inactivity! I hope to get back into art soon, and to continue on with these description drawing challenge things if they're appealing to people!

Journal History

deviantID

Pseudolonewolf
Tobias Cornwall
Artist | Student | Digital Art
United Kingdom
I love reading long bios on people's profiles, so this may be quite long!

My Work


I've been working as an independent games developer for a few years, specialising in RPGs made in Flash. I do all the work on them myself: the art, code, writing, and music, and I probably go overboard with all of those things! Some of my games were moderately successful a few years ago; two of them got daily deviations and everything! Wow, gasp! I just know you'll be impressed by my pair of DDs. I don't mind if you stare.

It's a very isolating path to follow, though, working on games alone from home, and I haven't finished a game in a while because of this loneliness... I'm hoping to get an RPG of sorts released on Steam soon, though. That might be exciting.

I'm currently doing a games art course at some kind of university, to get out of the house as much as anything, though I've been rather unsuccessful at finding friends here! Sad!

I've always been into fantasy art, particularly dragons, though I've been getting into drawing humans recently. I really like expressive, emotional pieces and strongly stylised styles! Art is likely to remain a hobby for me, though I do use my art skills - such as they are - to make the graphics for my games.


My Personality


I'd describe myself as introverted, sensitive, and empathetic; I feel what you feel, and I hate to hurt. I've gone through life feeling 'different' from others when it comes to core values... but I love finding those rare people I can relate to on a deep and meaningful level!

I currently have only online acquaintances and no close friends, and I lost all my in-person friends when moving country a few years ago (and met none while making games from home, because how would I?), so I'm sort of on the lookout for people I can form meaningful and entertaining bonds with! I've met some wonderful people on this site in the past, so I really hope that I can do so again! I feel rather rusty when it comes to talking to others, though, so sorry if I'm awkward at first!

I particularly like lending an empathetic ear to people who want someone to talk about their worries with, as I know how it is to want someone to talk to in a deeper way like that and get understanding and support in return. I've had difficulties with anxiety, depression and loneliness in the past - indeed, they still plague me at least somewhat - so I'd be particularly able to relate to concerns like that.

I'm single, and really wish this wasn't so but have no idea how I'd ever possibly meet anyone! It's terrifying, quite frankly!


The silly INFJ ~ EII ~ 4w5-5w4-9w1 Sx/So thing I have below my name up there is my PERSONALITY TYPES. I'm somewhat obsessed with those personality type system things, because I love learning more about why people do the things they do, and why people don't act the same way as myself. Discovering them was really enlightening!

I'm actually working on a website about personality types, which you can see here if you're curious: personality.alorafane.com

A brief summary:

:bulletblue: INFJ - Introverted Intuitive Feeling Judging: I am introverted, and am drained by interactions but really seek deep bonds. I'm intuitive, which means I focus more on abstract concepts and fantasies over real-life practical things. I'm 'feeling', which means that I value emotions, understanding and support over cold logic, facts, or blunt problem-solving. The 'judging' bit is harder to explain, but it basically means I tend to prefer planning rather than spontaneity.

:bulletblue: EII - Ethical Intuitive Introvert: This is similar to INFJ, but it means that I specifically love to talk about personal things on a deeper level, and I'm always seeking them out. I share my own thoughts and feelings and love doing the same with others, getting to know them at their core. However, I tend to assess whether or not I may be 'compatible' with someone when I talk to them, and the idea of talking at length with someone very unlike me worries me due to a fear of conflict.

:bulletblue: 4w5 - Enneatype 4 is all about feeling different from others. They are emotionally sensitive, they see beauty in melancholy, and they worry a lot about the things that set them apart from others. It isn't a case of being a 'special snowflake'; rather, it's a worry about being unable to genuinely connect on a deep and meaningful level. They are also very open and honest about their feelings and weaknesses rather than trying to seem better or more enigmatic than they are. 4w5 means a type 4 with traits of type 5, described below.

:bulletblue: 5w4 - Enneatype 5 is all about concerns with competence. Type 5s retreat away from the world to work on their skills, feeling that they can only face the world when they master a specific ability. They tend to be introverted observers rather than active participants, and have an intellectual vibe about them.

:bulletblue: 9w1 - Enneatype 9 seeks peace and calmness, avoiding conflict; they hate to be a bother to others. Type 1 is very moral and responsible; perfectionistic, even. 9w1 combines traits of the two.

:bulletblue: Sx/So - This basically means that I value, look for, think about and worry about intense intimacy, and how other people feel about me, rather than about being safe or comfortable. As such, I bare my heart freely in the hope that someone will think "I can relate to that!" and approach me, from which an intense relationship might blossom, rather than being guarded and secretive in order to avoid harm.

Hopefully that's not all just confusing and annoying!


Things I like or don't!


I make and like games, mostly RPGs! Here is a list of some of my favourites:

• Final Fantasy
• Pokemon
• The Legend of Zelda
• Ni No Kuni
• Journey
• Chrono Trigger
• Neverwinter Nights
• Earthbound and MOTHER 3
• Xenoblade Chronicles
• The Last Story
• Tales of the Abyss
• Eternal Sonata
• Mario & Luigi series
• Jade Cocoon
• Okami
• Spyro (original trilogy)
• Ristar
• Super Mario World
• Abe's Oddysee and Exoddus
• Vagrant Story
• Monster Rancher 2
• Shadow of the Colossus
• Knytt

I don't like shooters and other dark and gritty violent things, however!

In general, I really like 'soft' and sensitive people; kindness, empathy, things like that. I like people who care!

I don't like aggression and apathy, however; people who don't care, or who hurt others for fun. Many things stem from this; I don't like guns, violence, or horror, for example. I also don't drink, smoke or do drugs... though I wish it were easier to find others who don't either! We seem to be so rare!
Interests

Mr Custom

Greetings. I'm a box! Enjoy your stay. I know I will, if you know what I mean! Ha ha ha! Oh, I'm such a jester. I should become an official jester, you know... my mother always tried to discourage me, saying "Mr Custom, you won't be a good jester, because you don't have the face for it! They'll throw roasted rotten eggs at you at speeds like those of bullets from a gun!" Silly woman. She's dead now, though. Or was she never alive? Oh, I'm probably just lying to myself to make it seem as if I'm more important than I really am. I know you're ignoring me though. You're not here to look at some insignificant BOX, surely! Bah! Fine! Go on then, leave me here, to simmer in my loneliness! I doubt you'd ask ME out on a DATE. My muscles aren't nearly large enough, since I'm a box! We're not well-known in most parts of the world for our ability to do heavy lifting and other athletic things! Gods, I'm so depressed.

Anyway, enjoy your stay, visitor. It's my pleasure to greet you. ^_^

A tome of souls!!

Comments


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:iconsuperlion123:
Superlion123 Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
thank you very much for the llama!

hope you have an awesome day!
Reply
:iconicarus-skollsun:
Icarus-Skollsun Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Thanks a lot for the fav' ! Kano Shuuya (Happy) [V7]
Your gallery is awesome by the way !!! *v*
Reply
:iconpseudolonewolf:
Pseudolonewolf Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Thank you! I've seen a few of your pieces in various OC groups, and I'm always impressed by the super-clean lineart, flowing lines, expertly-chosen colours and expressive faces!
Reply
:iconicarus-skollsun:
Icarus-Skollsun Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Awww, thank you ! I'm so happy to hear that ! Thank you very much ! Junko Enoshima (Kawaii Blush) [V5]
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:iconshy-waifu:
Shy-Waifu Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2014  New member Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the :+fav:! <:
Reply
:iconmorningafterwolf:
MorningAfterWolf Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2014  Professional Writer
Thank you for visiting my page! :)
Reply
:iconsquigybutt:
SquigyButt Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2014  Student Digital Artist
I really enjoy your work ^^
Can't wait to see future work from you!
Reply
:iconninshroom:
NinShroom Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Do you ever participate in any art contests of any sort? 
Reply
:iconvoxdimange:
VoxDimange Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2014
Good Day (or night, whichever).
A while back you said you were looking for an internet community. I recently joined the Giant in the Playground forums (affectionately known as The Playground). Although it is nominally a D'n'D based forums, many members (including myself) are not roleplayers, so don't be worried about that.

It may or may not be a place for you: on one hand, the Playgrounders are very supportive -- there's even a long-running thread devoted to people's personal issues, the boards are very strict on abuse and bad language, and although not a majority there's a sizable female presence; on the other (usually good-natured) arguments are frequent, and there's also occasionally a surfacing of shocking elitism (steer clear of any "could X beat Y?" threads).
With that ominous warning out of the way, I think you should at least take a look at it as it is a very nice place; probably the best example is this wonderful thread: http://www.giantitp.com/forums…

Something to try to do outside is Equine Assisted Therapy. In essence, it is looking after horses to help deal with shyness, anger issues and other antisocial behaviour and I have seen some very good effects. It's a lot easier to deal with a horse than a person as they don't speak, are trained to work with humans (effectiveness varies depending on the horse, but all riding schools will have some docile horses) and are sensitive animals. It's also a mostly female industry.

It will involve physical labour, having to deal with large animals as well as members of the public (or worse, dedicated horse people 0_0).
If you are seeing a therapist (something you mentioned a while ago) you could ask them what they think or to arrange it for you. Many yards offer work experience or accept volunteers, but unless you live in South London, I can't recommend any for you.

I hope that these are of help to you, and if there's something you want to know about anything here, I am willing to listen.
Reply
:iconsuasite:
Suasite Featured By Owner May 29, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hi there!

I wanted to remind you of the little project you had taken part in.

:iconfeaturemywork:

Do you remember that group, where we gave you the opertunity to have full page lenght feature of just yourself? And even better! Where you could get a tons of comments?

Unfortinetly you have missed few recent features... Well we want to give you your last chance before all your previous raffles are gone! Here is this weeks feature: fav.me/d7k2a9u
Please don't miss it!


The crew of FeatureMyWork
Reply
:iconlongdefender:
longdefender Featured By Owner May 27, 2014  New member
Hey, Pseudo. I saw this thread on 4chan talking about your webcomic, Catharsis. I looked at it and they said you only made a few, and people on the thread were criticising Catharsis because of that. Maybe you could go to the thread and tell them why you stopped or what plans you have for it?
boards.4chan.org/co/thread/62195758
Reply
:iconfeydrake:
FeyDrake Featured By Owner May 21, 2014  Student General Artist
Just letting you know, I haven't ignored your comment or our conversation, I've been going through some stress lately and haven't really done much of ANYTHING. x.x So please don't think I forgot about you or that I don't want to talk. D: *hugs* I've just needed some personal time for myself. 

Hope you're alright!
Reply
:iconpseudolonewolf:
Pseudolonewolf Featured By Owner May 21, 2014  Student Digital Artist
That's understandable, and thanks for telling me! I'd assumed that I might have just scared you off, which has happened when I've approached socially anxious people in the past, or when people have approached me; I'd often just run away completely or take weeks to reply to things! I do appreciate you telling me this though!

It's upsetting to hear that you've been going through hard times! D:
I have been myself, actually, and I've been lagging behind with doing anything because of it also!
If you need someone to talk to, I'd be willing to listen and lend my support, but maybe you already have people for that! Whatever the case may be, I suppose we can talk more when we're both in a better state to be doing that!

I hope that you can get to a place where you feel better...!
Reply
:iconsnowywolf7:
snowywolf7 Featured By Owner May 10, 2014  Student Writer
I would like to be friends with you but is it okay that I'm a Christian? :)
Reply
Hidden by Owner
:icontotally-espionne:
totally-espionne Featured By Owner May 14, 2014
I don't mean to intrude, but this kind of comment is much better suited for a private means of communication, like a note. Obviously I don't know everything about him (nor am I acquainted with the incidents you mentioned), but I do know he makes great games and seems to be a funny, awesome person from what I can tell. Everything you just said is solely your opinion, and while you are obviously free to voice it, it's really in poor taste to put it out in a place where everyone can see it. I mean, how would you feel if somebody came and wrote a less-than-nice comment about you on your own page just the way you did?

~espionne
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:iconsnowywolf7:
snowywolf7 Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Student Writer
I see. Thanks for telling me. :)
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Hidden by Owner
:icontotally-espionne:
totally-espionne Featured By Owner May 8, 2014
Just wanted to let you know that I finally beat MARDEK 3 (including both superbosses and everything), and I would like to truly thank you for making such a great game. Everything about it was incredibly well done, not to mention addicting! Please do let me know if there is ever going to be a MARDEK 4, because you can bet I'll be one of the first ones to play it! :)

~espionne
Reply
:iconaxcido:
Axcido Featured By Owner May 7, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I love your art... marry me!♥
Reply
:iconnil:
nil Featured By Owner May 5, 2014  Student Digital Artist
I did a thing and thought you might be interested in my results since we tend to be so similar!

one two three
Reply
:iconpseudolonewolf:
Pseudolonewolf Featured By Owner May 9, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Sorry about the delayed response to this! Those results are really interesting though, and a lot of them do seem to be similar to what I imagine I'd get. But now I want to do that thing myself! So could you link me to it or them to make sure I'm doing the right one or ones?!
Reply
:iconnil:
nil Featured By Owner May 9, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Sure, I'd be interested in seeing what you get also!! Here are the ones I took!!

similarminds.com/big30.html for sure
similarminds.com/advtest.html I believe?



There's a bunch of others here!
similarminds.com/personality_t…
Reply
:iconoooc-zone:
oOoc-Zone Featured By Owner May 5, 2014  Student General Artist
May I draw your character with the hat? 
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