What things would you say are most important to you? Specifically conceptual things, 'values', rather than possessions or people...
I have a strong set of values that drive me, and which make me feel lonely, because I'm reluctant to befriend anyone who has a different set of values (because of what my own values are)... I know I've only myself to blame for being so picky, but I feel stressed and pressured when interacting with people who don't follow these values in the same way that I do, perhaps in a similar way that a strong moral vegetarian might not feel at ease watching their friend eat a steak. Or something.
I was linked to this thing, which is a list of words that could be used to describe certain 'values': www.stevepavlina.com/articles/…
I went through the list eliminating those which I didn't feel anything much for, or which I felt negatively about, so that I'm left with the ones that I consider important to and definitive of me.
Some of them were:
(Relating) - Intimacy, Closeness, Harmony, Partnership, Love
(Gentleness, Pacifism, Peace; absence of aggression and dominance)
Acknowledgement, Accomplishment, Achievement
The ones in brackets aren't from the list that I linked to, but they're important to me all the same.
Above all else, I seem to be on a constant quest to find some kind of 'soulmate'; a person who shares my values, my outlook, the gentle, sensitive and considerate attitude that I try so hard to maintain and which I so very much admire (as opposed to apathy, snarkiness, trolling, blunt criticism, condescension, imperative statements, that kind of thing). I crave a deep emotional bond, 'companionship of the soul', above all else, so that tops my values list. Someone who's as much like me as possible... Not because I narcissistically think I'm so great or anything, but because I hate conflict and clashing traits and interests, and would feel further from them if they did things that I didn't, and closer for each thing that we shared in common...
Much of what I do is done to seek out or 'lure in' such hypothetical people... I've not had much success.
The other values I've listed mainly relate to this same general concept... I hate conflict, violence, ego, 'putting people in their place', laughing or shrugging things off, things worded as blunt commands, swearing, drinking, harsh and aggressive music, anything that suggests a lack of truly 'caring' deeply about things, a lack of gentleness, a sort of selfishness or disrespect for the minds of oneself or others... I could go on, but I feel that with every thing I list, I further distance myself from most people in the world.
I don't feel like I'm 'better than' such people; just that we're on completely different wavelengths, so I don't feel any affinity with them and it manifests as a sort of frustration.
I admire people who care deeply, and understand, and feel, and handle others gently whenever possible, who don't feel anger, who don't have 'thick skins' or any desire to be 'tough' or 'strong', and who always strive for compromises and explanations rather than wanting to be 'dominant'... People who literally avoid hurting even the smallest fly, who'll spend time rescuing moths from puddles if they can. People who care about every little thing they say, every comment they leave, hoping to make their words worthwhile, detailed, well-written, and personalised (I dislike brevity and 'stock comments' that could be applied to anything)... Deep, rather than merely skimming the surface, always providing a set of reasons or further thoughts (compare "I like it!" with "I love X, Y, and Z in this image; it makes me feel A, B, C...").
I hold these values strongly in my own heart, of course, and live by them, which is why I admire them in others.
Interestingly, however, I enjoy complaining with others, probably because of all the 'injustice' or 'imperfection' that I see in a world that doesn't follow my own values, and I find catharsis in having an ally who sees as I do rather than yet another person telling me to see things differently (as they do).
(By 'complaining with', I mean things like "I hate X!", "Me too!", which is always nicer than "I hate X!", "You shouldn't hate X, have you even given it a try?")
I greatly admire openness; people who readily speak about their feelings and weaknesses genuinely, rather than swaggering around with a pretentious façade to seem stronger or wiser than they actually are... I like people who openly show their basic personal information like age and sex, and dislike it when those things are hidden as if they're amazing and special secrets, or as if their owner transcends them in some way and as such doesn't want to be associated with such facts.
I also value and admire introversion, and of course art and creativity (which is why I'm here); I find it hard to understand people who don't have any creative hobbies.
My games have received quite a bit of acknowledgement, which is great! It's something I specifically aimed for too, in a way; I want my creative works to be noticed, acknowledged, etc, and I put a lot of time and effort into them (or my games, anyway; I don't feel the same way about my visual art) in order to achieve that.
I hate it when people think that they are 'awesome', or who brag about how great they or their achievements are. I find self-deprecation more charming, because I can relate to it more.
It's irritating that many who, like me, follow the 'peace and love' kind of attitude - and who abstain from drinking and swearing and stuff like that too - are religious, because I struggle to get along well with people who believe so strongly in something that I see as having no basis in truth or reality... So I added 'Atheism' there, because it's a value that I'd required to be shared by that hypothetical 'soulmate' in order for me to feel truly close to them...
Anyway, what are YOUR values, people? What things do you try to live by, and admire in others? Do you even have a list of strong values like this that you 'judge' yourself and others by? Perhaps not; I often feel like I'm an oddball for being so 'passionate' and 'strict' about my own.