Wow, gasp, it's 2015!

I've been neglecting this site recently, because I've been focusing more on my game development stuff and updating my blog instead!

I wrote a long list of detailed New Year's Resolutions on my blog, which I won't bother to repeat here. I also wrote a review of how 2014 went for me there.

In summary, it's been a year of learning... though I've yet to find a place to belong, people to be with, a partner, a way to make good money, uh... So many, many things. I know I have a huge mountain ahead of me left to climb.

Things got rather grim in the middle of the year, too, with the whole considering-suicide thing and everything. But I feel that even that was an opportunity to learn, and since then I've only been improving, mentally if not, uh, situationally.

I feel like near the end of the year, I finally discovered the secret to happiness and productivity!!1 Or at least the places I might find that secret. I've been reading a lot of 'self-development' stuff that I mostly just avoided before, and the more I read, the more I feel like maybe it's the sort of culture/world where I might have a chance of finding kindred spirits, especially since I imagine many people who make such efforts to develop themselves mentally have probably had bad experiences or neuroticisms that would make them feel it's necessary... And they all talk about the wonders of love and compassion too, so there's that! There seem to be a bunch of these 'confident, manipulative alpha male' types too, who get into it so then they can more effectively dominate others, which isn't exactly my cup of tea, but I'd like to think that there's more to it than that...

Anyway, I'm rambling. I've finally got scheduling and timetables working for me! That's another thing. I've been really focused and productive for almost a month now, an unbroken chain of days, and I know that if I keep this up, I can finally finish things and start making a living from what I do.

I step into 2015 with a sense of dread, realising how much work I have to do to find people to share my life with, or to find a place to belong, etc, but I feel hopeful, too, and even happy because of what I've learned so far. I know that everything I need to do can be done if only I try hard.


I intend for 2015 to be a year of big changes!!!